March 20, 2020
Yesterday I drove my roommate to work, then I realized I hadn't eaten, so I drove around for a little bit trying to think of what's open. I turned on the radio and this song was playing but I was on the edge of the coverage area so it was occasionally interrupted by staticky instructions on what to do if we see price gouging. Eventually I almost automatically pulled into the Walmart parking lot. I remembered how last time I was there it had been near empty and gently snowing, and the high voltage power lines hanging from the big masts in the lot had made a deafening hum in the night. Now it was noon, the lot was pretty full, and only raining. Most people were moving fast but no one was running, or carrying toilet paper or other goods in great armfuls or anything too hysterical. Some were by themselves, most weren't. Inside, the shelves were almost all fully stocked. There were mangos, in Minnesota, in March, right inside the door.
A year from now, or a month from now, the deaths will only number a few thousand if we're lucky. Maybe everyone will be saying "hey, remember that? Why were we all freaking out so much? Why did we all think it was such a big deal?" I want it on the record that we aren't freaking out. The predominant mood isn't panic. It's the same muted fear and dissatisfaction that was there before, but more so. And very soon it will always have been here, whether quarantine saves us or not.
All the lefties I know and read get that this is an opportunity for solidarity. Even before the ludicrous Dem debate on TV, the CNN folks were talking about how the virus emphasizes how interconnected we all are, and how we have no choice but to fight it collectively. (Then Biden talked about how it's a war and we need "boots on the ground," to fight the virus, so I think these are going to be a very long 5 years). But the other big lesson everyone's learning isn't that our owners will all fail and abandon us. It's about the toilet paper, and about stupid people making bad decisions and paying the price for it. I pointed out that smart people catch and spread the virus too but I don't know who I was talking to. I don't know how to tell people that people aren't stupid. What we are is powerless. When people are powerless we do stupid things, like buy lots of the same thing hoping it will give us some confidence and security. We're being pulled under by a tidal system that spans a hemisphere. The world is ending for like the third time this year and all we can do is what we were doing before, but more; stay inside and try not to infect or be infected.