I did finally find a system upgrade, a Dell Optiplex 5070 - it's got an NVMe slot for a future upgrade, 9th generation i7 and 64 GB of RAM. USB 3 and USB-C on the front panel. TPM 2.0 for my eventual move to Windows 11. It was a little bare-bones compared to a consumer-grade Inspiron, since it's most likely a business lease return. $25 got me a wifi/bluetooth M.2 card and a SD card reader for the front to flesh out some of the missing conveniences. It's a nice little system, albeit boring. I'm tempted to break out my rattle-cans and spray it a random color, like we did back in the '80s with boring beige boxes. I sprayed all of my drive faceplates a sickening bright color of green or fluorescent orange and felt like I was pretty 1337. What did we know?