You might've noticed that I stopped talking to anyone entirely, leaving your messages on Discord unanswered for weeks on end. Here is why.

The state of the internet and our society as a whole is at its absolute worst right now, and I have been holding back from saying these words out loud, but today they have reached a boiling point and I cannot hold it any longer. I have been betrayed and scammed several times and I cannot live anymore with such a state of mind. Free speech is declining; every time I bring up REAL issues that contribute to the DIVISION of our society and the suppression of COLLABORATION, I get spat in the face as if they matter little to them.

I am sick and tired of hearing about the "culture war" on the internet involving left-wing and right-wing sides. One calls people bigoted, and the other calls them fascists. The agenda of both parties is constantly trying to make others join their narrative and therefore it has poisoned the minds of millions of people, constantly bringing these absolutely destructive points up in contexts unrelated to the aforementioned ongoing event, calling it "100% woke". I have sought ways to fix this dissonance, to bring this to others' attention, however my efforts were in vain as they were rejected by various communities. This causes division and isolation and it is clear to me that these people want no peace, harmony or prosperity. They want only power at all costs, even if that means destruction.

Speaking of destruction, 2020s seems to be a decade of war. Russia vs Ukraine, Israel vs Palestine, India vs Pakistan. It just doesn't stop. And the former actually directly affects me because it limits my outreach. I am unable to make international online payments, I am unable to commission ANYONE, and I am unable to take back what was once mine. I am unable to do anything because some fuckwad government decided that their interests are more important than ours, and the worst part is that they want to believe. They SEE what they want to believe. They FORCE themselves and everyone else to believe. They drag everyone into it by abusing the established governmental systems that are near-impossible to oppose. Do you want to live like this? I certain'y don't.

Moving on, computer software has gone significantly worse over the course of the last decade. Web technologies became the new norm for desktop applications and the resource usage stacks up with every web application, inflating the system requirements due to the functionality present in the now-established web framework that you do not need and using more RAM than it should. Optimization is at an all time low, games run badly on even modern hardware, requiring the use of upscaling technologies as an optimization technique (which is not its intended use, the intention is to get higher fidelity on low-spec budget hardware). The barrier to system requirements has risen, leaving old hardware to die in a pile of e-waste and making people with budget or old machines feel left out (Windows 11 is a prime example).

Artificial intelligence has taken over the world and most people use it to get things done quick/effortlessly or do the things that they have no idea how to do without even bothering to learn it, in which case the quality of their output is subpar. People use AI as a solution, not as a tool. Having the right tool, combined with your thinking (and intentions), makes the job easier.

Subscription services have started taking away content previously accessible before and they deliberately try to make it as hard as humanly possible to cancel your subscription. This is one of the reasons why piracy has resurfaced among the commoners. And of course the general rules of "enshittification" do apply.

Age verification is falling upon us all around and I do not think that this situation needs any introduction.

Seeing people being "fine" with it and actively engaging in these ill-fated and ill-advised decisions makes me feel demotivated to do absolutely anything in this society let alone this world. I cannot stand in one place and observe how the society falls into a deep slumber from the issues outlined above. I have to do something, to contribute to making the society better. If I don't do anything to contribute to the society (especially because people reject my efforts), I have no purpose, and if I have no purpose, I have no reason to exist. I exist because I need to contribute to this society, but they do not want my contributions. They don't think this is a wakeup call. They think it is a message that threatens their existence and their dependencies.

For the past several months I have tried to analyze myself, to determine if it is I who is going insane, or the world that is going insane. I am tempted to think that it's both, because they have driven me insane.

As such I got fed up with all this and am done with today's internet and I am stepping away from Discord and social media as a whole for an indefinite while. I do not wish to engage with a society this corrupt, this destructive, this uncooperative. I wish we could rebuild the internet that is free from this... mess. This is one of the reasons I am pursuing van life in order to achieve true freedom and independence in case I get exiled (or maybe I want to self-exile).

If you want to leave a message, please email to: polyzium [at] disroot [dot] org