These are ideas I have for a funny quote randomizer. Hand these over to cowsay on a Unix-like system for extra lulz.
Trash from Twitter/X
"Ah yes, so glad this 40 year old cis white guy is informing us on how to feel about his shitty takes that totally aren't transphobic" -Eris 'UltimateDSfan' Ray, which is also white
"Fuck you :)"
"In every gay relationship there's the one that takes 6 minutes to get ready and the one that takes 600 minutes to get ready...I am currently waiting for Eris to finish getting ready" -UltimateDSfan's ex-girlfriend in a deleted tweet
"I literally can't have kids at all because I don't have the gonads I was born with anymore. If you think that's my fault in ANY way, that my sterility was within my power to stop or delay, fuck you." -Kevin/Kathryn Gibes, one of UltimateDSfan's predecessors
"i have always wanted to ratio autism speaks" -Nintendude, a Twittard that couldn't devise a good comeback
"Sonic is trans now, this is canon" -RosieRoberta, an ephebozoophilic Twittard
"Haha, flags go brrrr" -PearlTrans, fighting bigotry with bigotry. Quite fitting for a transcel
"Terrifying realization I can never un-realize: Shadow the Hedgehog is a trans allegory" -Gamechamp3k acting like a bigoted ephebophile
"Nice book. Too bad it was all plagiarized from the dictionary"
"unfollow me, thanks" -Mike Matei
"sr pelo is a genius" -Shadling
"the minecraft bee is trans" -Ezramouse
"HAHA ANYWAY BAN MEN LITERALLY THROW THEM ALL IN THE GARBAGE" -Schaachi Koul of Buzzfeed Canada notoriety
"P.S. Who is Bill Burr?"
"THE LAW DOES NOT APPLY TO ME. I AM A YOUTUBER." -TommyInnit summarizing most predators' mindsets
"CALL ME YAYDOLF YITLER AND YOUR BITCH STILL WANTS TO FUCK" -Kanye West
Ridiculousness from Roblox
"^ terrible show stop" -a culprit of furry-themed EPI
"I can report you for insulting." -a thin-skinned nuisance
"those who report get hacked"
"Your stupid."
"u idiot"
"she's dum"
"dumby"
"yeah run little girl"
"stupid go back to the complex"
"i dont care -.-"
"hey go to hell"
"ID WANT TO"
"FREE MODELS AND CRAP" -a hypocrite that claimed to be nice in its blurb
"ur adopted btw"
"You scamming '12er brat."
"I REPORTED U!"
"NOB NOB NOB"
"aw poor baby" -stated the one that didn't have the mental capacity to type a counterargument
"I will make you suffer"
"This game is so edgy, I got a papercut from this sht." -a Zim x Dib shipper
"suck your moms penis"
"Unliking!"
Frustration from Forums
"cool story nobody fucking cares" -Joshua 'Null' Moon replying to flamebait it added a mod note to and other posters fell for
"Your politics are shit and no one cares. Agree to disagree." -Null giving advice it doesn't follow
"You do not determine whether someone is a lolcow or not."
"named after anime because anime makes you gay"
"DILATE DILATE DILATE TRANNY" -an A-Log on Kiwi Farms
"That's probably your first mistake." -NOT Sword Fighter Super, which likely enjoys being ill
"lol calm down"
"it's not pedophilia if i want to be the shota" -William Cannon/Peppermint Swirl
"I am a proud clopper" -Amanda Lochmann
"Official Kiwifarms Man-Hate Thread" -from a site run by a man(child)
"The customer is always right; cry to your manager!"
"waa waa waa no1curr" -one of lolcow.farm's moderators falling for the Streisand Effect
"shit thread, wrong board" -typical response to fresh information being submitted to lolcow.farm
"obvious selfposting"
"Emulation is illegal. Talking about emulation is prohibited." -Clayton/Kimonio, a hillbilly I saw on a gaming forum over a decade ago
"asking too many questions"
"shut up retard quit crying and trying to police threads" -fag0t, the second most prominent A-log on Onion Farms
"shut up woman" -Ash's Dildo, the most prominent A-log on Onion Farms
"If he made his comic things nfts that is pretty gay." -Crimson Fucker/Gore San, another goofball on Onion Farms
"Emulation enable piracy. Cry more"
Immaturity from YouTubers
"YES! The Bible Is Reliable." -Matt Fradd
"I'm a functioning alcoholic" -Josh Cannon, an embarassing hypocrite
"The Knuckles Show Isn't Bad, You Guys are Just Mean" -LS Mark being a pot (lol fat) calling the kettle black
"I literally play Pokemon professionally" -SmallAnt, a zoosadist that apparently classifies missing social cues as professional
"I've never played Dark Souls. I tried to beat it in a day." -A-dn
"CommanderVideo is bisexual and is canonically dating Radbot" -a gaywasher
"Just Ban My Account Already..." -Mutahar 'SomeOrdinaryGamers' Anas, an enabler of predators
"This is the greatest attention seeking of all time" -penguinz0/Cr1tikal, which can never decide when to be serious or not
"This Video is for Wanted Criminals Only"
"Using Discord is not a social life." -Luke Smith, a cow with no friends
"Adobe Reader Is LITERALLY Hitler." -Luke Smith being dumb...again
"I Removed Cappy from Mario Odyssey" -Fir thinking it's so cool for removing a core gameplay element instead of just playing Avenging Spirit instead
"FUCK OFF FUCKLEY WHISTLE WAS A GOOD SONG"
"Hello Dose[...]We want to sell you 'cosmetic Web3 bullshit'"
"[...] can't handle all the indiosyncracies that the...console has. Like, for instance, electrons move through reality" -Ryan Schott of Screenwave Media notoriety
"I Hate Nintendo And I'm Buying The Switch 2 IMMEDIATELY" -Linus Sebastian of Linus Tech Tips notoriety
"I Made a CRT Game Boy" -James Channel being too dumb to emulate the Super Game Boy 2
"Say YES to VHS!" -Frankie Frain of Red Cow 'Entertainment'
"I bought a Zune in 2020." -DankPods
"Can Guitar Hero Make Me Better at Guitar?" -Drew 'Gooden' being too dumb to understand Rocksmith is the guitar-teaching game. Ironic, considering it whined about time wasters
"Can You Beat Final Fantasy 1 Without Ever Spending Money?" -Seer, which likely has little to no valuable life experience
"$10,000 FNAF TOY HUNT"
"I Paid For Nikocado Avocado's OnlyFans So You Don't Have To" -an idiot that doesn't know about leak sites
"Will Viewers Notice If I'm Replaced By AI?"
"Can I Get a StreetPass at the Sonic Symphony?" -a goofball that didn't know about NetPass
"The Lego Movie: Communist Propaganda" -maxmunich
"The Best Games Are Kinda Bad"
"Fantasy Life is AMAZING (and it SUCKS)"
"Why Everything Is A Scam (Except For Scams)"
"I ate nothing but Chick-fil-A for six days"
"My girlfriend caught me listening to this and now she thinks I'm disabled"
"Roblox Is Threatening To Sue Me For Protecting Kids" -Schlep, a supporter of predators' abetters
"WATCH BEFORE IT IS DELETE" -a fool that apparently doesn't know about yt-dlp
"Just turn me into a fucking foot and drop that obese woman on me, I don't want to live anymore."
Miscellaneous
"^ that account blocked me for shipping skwisgaar and toki wtf"
"Fuck logic."
"What an attention seeker."
"Judging a person doesn't define who they are, it defines who you are."
"nobody cares" -a frequent lie from cows that miss social cues
"People in a coma are always so agreeable."
"dead bitches don't say no" -a necrophile not realizing they can't say yes, either
"Disobeying your parents isn't cool." -NedWolfkin, a supporter of domestic violence
"The mineral fortification was hard to disguise, and because of the veggie and legume content, three bites of the Dilberito made you fart so hard your intestines formed a tail." -Scott Adams
"Shit answer." -Shii-la, a hypocritical a**hole on Miitomo's Answer Central for Europe/Australia
"Shut your fucking mouth about Donald Trump he's a gay fucking cunt" -a cow that didn't know how to properly criticize
"i got a stain on my spongebob shirt should i kill former president donald trump" -a goofball that doesn't know imprisonment is usually more practical
"I have never insulted anyone you stupid bitch."
"I am better than your kids." -Maddox, a petty cuck
"Be a Swiftie. It's good for your mental health."
"Vimm can bite my furry two-tailed ass. Bitch." -Kitsune Sniper, a possible supporter of Pelo the Pedo
"I would trust shitposter.club or niu.moe with my [personal] data."
"fuck Ruben Sim. He got my snake cock piss latex fetish RP game taken down from Roblox." -another creeper hunting Ruben Sim for the wrong reasons
"Nostalgia Ninja had sex with a baby"
"There is nothing here. Go away." -presumably MainMemory being stupid
"this is the most personally attack image I've ever seen. like, I personally into 85% of the stuff that's om here." -GameBoyXEpic getting butthurt over indirectly being called a perverted manchild
"Latest Bidder: Ted Cruz"
"trans catboy eggman"
"IT IS A SERIOUS CRIME TO COPY VIDEO GAMES." -Super Mario All-Stars
"It is I who nuts to that" -a cropped screenshot of Bowser's Inside Story
"Nobita has been stoned." -The Revenge of Giga Zombie
"I slaughtered your whole family"
"THIN PRIVLEDGE!!!!"
"fuck off, douchecunt" -binge-chan upon being presented with logic
