"Ah yes, so glad this 40 year old cis white guy is informing us on how to feel about his shitty takes that totally aren't transphobic" -Eris 'UltimateDSfan' Ray
"Fuck you :)"
"In every gay relationship there's the one that takes 6 minutes to get ready and the one that takes 600 minutes to get ready...I am currently waiting for Eris to finish getting ready" -UltimateDSfan's ex-girlfriend
"I literally can't have kids at all because I don't have the gonads I was born with anymore. If you think that's my fault in ANY way, that my sterility was within my power to stop or delay, fuck you." -Kevin/Kathryn Gibes
"i have always wanted to ratio autism speaks" -Nintendude
"Sonic is trans now, this is canon" -RosieRoberta
"Haha, flags go brrrr" -PearlTrans
"Terrifying realization I can never un-realize: Shadow the Hedgehog is a trans allegory" -Gamechamp3k
"Nice book. Too bad it was all plagiarized from the dictionary"
"unfollow me, thanks" -Mike Matei
"sr pelo is a genius" -Shadman/ling
"the minecraft bee is trans" -Ezramouse
"HAHA ANYWAY BAN MEN LITERALLY THROW THEM ALL IN THE GARBAGE" -Schaachi Koul
"P.S. Who is Bill Burr?"
"THE LAW DOES NOT APPLY TO ME. I AM A YOUTUBER." -TommyInnit
"CALL ME YAYDOLF YITLER AND YOUR BITCH STILL WANTS TO FUCK" -Kanye West
"^ terrible show stop" -a culprit of furry-themed EPI
"I can report you for insulting."
"those who report get hacked"
"Your stupid."
"u idiot"
"she's dum"
"dumby"
"yeah run little girl"
"stupid go back to the complex"
"i dont care -.-"
"hey go to hell"
"ID WANT TO"
"FREE MODELS AND CRAP"
"ur adopted btw"
"You scamming '12er brat."
"I REPORTED U!"
"NOB NOB NOB"
"aw poor baby"
"I will make you suffer"
"This game is so edgy, I got a papercut from this sht." -a Zim x Dib shipper
"suck your moms penis"
"Unliking!"
"cool story nobody fucking cares" -Joshua 'Null' Moon
"Your politics are shit and no one cares. Agree to disagree." -Null
"You do not determine whether someone is a lolcow or not."
"named after anime because anime makes you gay"
"DILATE DILATE DILATE TRANNY" -an A-Log on Kiwi Farms
"That's probably your first mistake." -NOT Sword Fighter Super
"lol calm down"
"it's not pedophilia if i want to be the shota" -William Cannon/Peppermint Swirl
"I am a proud clopper" -Amanda Lochmann
"The customer is always right; cry to your manager!"
"waa waa waa no1curr" -one of lolcow.farm's moderators
"shit thread, wrong board" -typical response to fresh information being submitted to lolcow.farm
"obvious selfposting"
"Emulation is illegal. Talking about emulation is prohibited." -Clayton/Kimonio from Neoseeker
"asking too many questions"
"shut up retard quit crying and trying to police threads" -fag0t from Onion Farms
"shut up woman" -Ash's Dildo from Onion Farms
"If he made his comic things nfts that is pretty gay." -Crimson Fucker/Gore San from Onion Farms
"Emulation enable piracy. Cry more"
"YES! The Bible Is Reliable." -Matt Fradd
"I'm a functioning alcoholic" -Josh Cannon from Dancing With Ghosts
"The Knuckles Show Isn't Bad, You Guys are Just Mean" -Mark McConville/LS Mark
"I literally play Pokemon professionally" -SmallAnt, a zoosadist
"I've never played Dark Souls. I tried to beat it in a day." -A-dn
"CommanderVideo is bisexual and is canonically dating Radbot" -a gaywasher
"Just Ban My Account Already..." -Mutahar 'SomeOrdinaryGamers' Anas
"This is the greatest attention seeking of all time" -penguinz0/Cr1tikal
"This Video is for Wanted Criminals Only" -penguinz0/Cr1tikal
"Using Discord is not a social life." -Luke Smith
"Adobe Reader Is LITERALLY Hitler." -Luke Smith
"I Removed Cappy from Mario Odyssey" -Fir
"FUCK OFF FUCKLEY WHISTLE WAS A GOOD SONG"
"Hello Dose[...]We want to sell you 'cosmetic Web3 bullshit'"
"[...] can't handle all the indiosyncracies that the...console has. Like, for instance, electrons move through reality" -Ryan Schott from Screenwave Media
"I Hate Nintendo And I'm Buying The Switch 2 IMMEDIATELY" -Linus Sebastian
"I Made a CRT Game Boy" -James Channel
"Say YES to VHS!" -Frankie Frain from Red Cow Entertainment
"I bought a Zune in 2020." -DankPods
"Can Guitar Hero Make Me Better at Guitar?" -Drew Gooden
"Can You Beat Final Fantasy 1 Without Ever Spending Money?" -Seer
"$10,000 FNAF TOY HUNT"
"I Paid For Nikocado Avocado's OnlyFans So You Don't Have To"
"Will Viewers Notice If I'm Replaced By AI?"
"The Lego Movie: Communist Propaganda" -maxmunich
"The Best Games Are Kinda Bad"
"Fantasy Life is AMAZING (and it SUCKS)"
"Why Everything Is A Scam (Except For Scams)"
"I ate nothing but Chick-fil-A for six days"
"My girlfriend caught me listening to this and now she thinks I'm disabled"
"WATCH BEFORE IT IS DELETE"
"Just turn me into a fucking foot and drop that obese woman on me, I don't want to live anymore."
"^ that account blocked me for shipping skwisgaar and toki wtf"
"Fuck logic."
"What an attention seeker."
"Judging a person doesn't define who they are, it defines who you are."
"nobody cares"
"People in a coma are always so agreeable."
"dead bitches don't say no"
"Disobeying your parents isn't cool." -NedWolfkin from Lolpasta Wiki and Pasta-Archives
"The mineral fortification was hard to disguise, and because of the veggie and legume content, three bites of the Dilberito made you fart so hard your intestines formed a tail." -Scott Adams
"Shit answer." -Shii-la from Miitomo's Answer Central for Europe/Australia
"Shut your fucking mouth about Donald Trump he's a gay fucking cunt"
"i got a stain on my spongebob shirt should i kill former president donald trump"
"I have never insulted anyone you stupid bitch."
"Be a Swiftie. It's good for your mental health."
"Vimm can bite my furry two-tailed ass. Bitch." -Kitsune Sniper/Foxhack from SetTopGames
"I would trust shitposter.club or niu.moe with my [personal] data."
"fuck Ruben Sim. He got my snake cock piss latex fetish RP game taken down from Roblox."
"Nostalgia Ninja had sex with a baby"
"There is nothing here. Go away." -presumably MainMemory
"this is the most personally attack image I've ever seen. like, I personally into 85% of the stuff that's om here." -GameBoyXEpic from Know Your Meme
"IT IS A SERIOUS CRIME TO COPY VIDEO GAMES." -Super Mario All-Stars
"It is I who nuts to that" -a cropped screenshot of Bowser's Inside Story
"Nobita has been stoned." -The Revenge of Giga Zombie
"Latest Bidder: Ted Cruz" -an auction for George Zimmerman's gun
"trans catboy eggman"
"I slaughtered your whole family"
"THIN PRIVLEDGE!!!!"
"fuck off, douchecunt" -binge-chan from DeviantArt
"not fat enough"
"ENDS WITH A BOOM"