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03 july 2022


July mark's the beginning of a new era, a new me. My feels will keep existing but are archived. New updates will now be in my journal.

02 july 2022

Plans cancelled. I am burned out but I am off!

Right, so as the title says, I had to cancel my trip to Finland and Tuska. A close family member is ill, and I want to make sure I am with my family if they need me. I am pretty burned out from work anyway, so I am just glad to be off, and not too bothered that I am not going away.

I am still very sad and very tired, but looking forward to getting back into my routine now that I have some free time for that.

I am quite hungry right now, but it's almost dinner time and I am really looking forward to pizza and beer. :)

12 june 2022

Tired, sad and burned out

That's what I am right now! On the plus side, holidays are in less than 3 weeks now.

I didn't achieve much today, other than updating my now page and voting.

Voting has been quite annoying: we are not electing anyone today, but we are instead voting to modify a few laws related to the handling of Justice. Laws are written in obscure legalese, and the government has done little to explain citizens what they were expected to express an opinion on. I suspect that most people won't vote, or that their vote will be affected more by their political alignement than by what they really want. This is a disaster as with this type of vote there should be no political preference expressed (you want your rights to be represented regardless).

I will maybe go for a walk later but there are currently 32 degrees Celsius, so that has to wait.

06 june 2022

Nice bonus day off

Had a nice bonus day off today. I definitely needed a longer weekend as I am burned out. I am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow: it will be a long work week and a long weekend.

I made a account and updated my tilde quite a bit earlier today. Now I just need to scan my art and then I'll have completed some of my long term goals for my personal digital life. I think I'll push this to another day though, I find scanning and resizing pictures to be a very tedious activity.

Now some coffee and reading...

29 may 2022

Sunday update

Working on my web pages

I made my home page here a bit more readable, hopefully. Kept the background off-white to avoid screen glare: I think this is the best combination of readability and making sure I don't burn readers eyeballs if they are bwosing in the middle of the night.

These aren't "feels" though, are they?

I am feeling burned out and tired, can't wait for the holidays. And I fell off the wagon a bit with my habits: I can't train because I have stitches and it turns out that interrupting one habit dirupts my whole routine.

22 may 2022


Recovering from small surgery: I need to change my bandanges, keep the wounds cleen, walk carefully. The wounds are tiny, just unfortunately placed. The bigger source of anxiety is waiting for the lab reports, hoping it looks good. This will take around 10 days.

I have added a library to my web page. It is a list of books I have read that had a great impact on my life. The list is small now but I will add more in the future and perhaps add links to each of these so anyone who is interested can find them with one click.

16 may 2022

Intense work day tomorrow

I am quite tired and it's going to be an intense day tomorrow at work. I will be going to the office, then finishing work quite late. Time seems to be moving pretty fast, and I need to call the damn bank!

15 may 2022

Slow Sunday

I had planned to accomplish a number of things today, including running, or at least going for a walk. Unfortunately, I have not been feeling very well, and my blood pressure must be really, really low, as I have absolutely no energy. It's quite hot here, and being anaemic and on your period doesn't help. I was supposed to videochat with a friend, but I cancelled.

I am thankful that day 1 of my period happened on a Sunday, hopefully tomorrow will be a little better.

14 may 2022

A quiet Saturday

Played D&D last night. As usual, we ended playing until quite late, meaning I was wrecked this morning.

I did see my friends anyway in the morning for breakfast, and it was actually quite nice. Even pushed a friend to try and apply for a job (sounds like she got it!).

I worked late all week, and as a result I skipped a few evenings of reading and journaling: I will catch up between today and tomorrow.

I am currently reading the following books:

I signed up at to start recording my reading history. I also want to record some books to my gemini capsule, just for fun.

11 may 2022

Intense days at work

I didn't add a record yesterday because I worked really hard all day and once I got back from the office I was so tired I collapsed in bed and fell asleep at 10 pm.

As a result of this, I skipped a few of my evening routines including logging my feels, journaling, reading. I am most definitely not an evening person. My brain just gets too tired and gives up.


Today I am grateful for:

Things I learned today

How I helped others

09 may 2022

Back on track!

I feel like I am back on track. I hope it lasts. I need to get into the mindset that doing things for fun is OK, even if the end result isn't perfect!

Things I learned today

I looked into the Spartan protocol, understood how it works from a "average user" perspective. It actually looks so simple I could even experiment with something more than just using a client. One day...

How I helped others / acts of kindness

I am doing my best to be around for others but when most of my day is spent at the PC I don't even interact with people enough to help anyone. I do have a judgement-free vent chat with some friends, and I send them photos of flowers and the blue sky to keep their mood up a little bit.

I am thankful for

07 may 2022

Little evening update

I definitely need my own place and to achieve that I need to get over my executive disfunction and call the bank (required to split the current property and sort out taxes), and look for apartments to rent. I will need a small place, pre-furnished, so that I can just move right away. Then after that I will look into getting a car, possibly hybrid, second hand for sure.

04 march 2022

Hello World

I am back. Sort of anyways. I feel stranded in some sort of limbo, and I need to get out of it, but it is hard for me to settle as everything currently feels temporary. And I know it is something I need to change in my mind first and foremost, but I need structure and I am finding it hard to carve some structure in my current situation. Anyway, here are some random ramblings for today.

22 december 2021

Officially on holiday

I am officially off and I don't know how I feel about that. I have been constantly working the whole past year and while I am tired, work does provide some sort of comfort to me.

Also, with the World being the way it is currently, I am not so sure if it makes a difference.

Anyway, I'll now try to focus on the good things I have and I can enjoy.

21 december 2021

Hello World

Looks like I found another tool I can use to dump my thoughts and scream into the void. This one seems to be doing exactly what I want it to do, though I wish it published to gemini too...

...and that's it! :)