The paths we walked took us through some surreal landscapes. The weather was overcast, which at this point I was extremely happy for, but also added to the alien world feel—craggy rocks, steaming vents, strange smells, colours you wouldn’t expect.

A lot of the photos didn’t do it justice, but a few videos I grabbed helped show the kind of place we were in.

We had strict orders to be back at the visitor’s centre by ten, because they have a geyser that goes off every day at 10:15. It’s not Old Faithful (which I’ve never seen), and only goes off once every 24 hours. It was first discovered when local Māori accidentally set it off with the natural soap they were using to clean their clothes. So to this day, they induce its eruption, so everyone gets a chance to see it, and to keep it regular.

The Lady Knox geyser at Wai-o-Tapu, with our guide singing a traditional Māori song off screen. The original video was longer, but I cut out the parts on either end so it wouldn’t be quite so long.

Our explosive ending wrapped up, we left the park and made our way to Lake for a quick view and lunch. Sizes are hard to fully understand, but apparently you could drop Singapore in the middle and still have room to boat around.

From Taupō we headed north back towards Auckland with a stop in Hamilton about halfway back. It recently became the 4th largest city in New Zealand, but one of its claims to fame is their gardens. The Hamilton Gardens aren’t like most where it’s one very large garden of a single type. It’s more like it’s a outdoor museum of gardens throughout human history.

It was broken into different sections—Paradise, Fantasy, and Production—and each section had multiple examples from history within. We started in the Paradise section, which was meant to represent the perfect garden. If you’ve ever been to a Japanese Garden, or a Chinese Garden, that’s what you’d find in this section, only much smaller. They also had a classic Renaissance, and English Garden. All lovely, and what you’d expect.

The Production section was representative of actual working gardens, from English manor food gardens, to herb gardens, to a really lovely sustainable perma​culture garden that I would love to have. Also, what you’d expect to see.

The Fantasy section was where they kept all the wacky gardens that were meant to make you think, or at least go “huh”. They had a couple out of literature, but the only one I took pictures of was the Lewis Carroll inspired one.

The “arms” on the hedges would occasionally move. Because of course they would.

That more or less wrapped up our time together. It was still a couple of hours back to Auckland, but we were all tired from a very busy couple of days. We actually made friends with the couple from LA, so it was a bit bittersweet that things were ending.

That said, once we checked back into our hotel and dropped off our bags, we did meet up with that couple for dinner and made plans to see a Māori instructional “performance” the next day before they flew out.

We set out south, and besides a quick pit stop for coffee, we had a 2-3 hour drive to the Waitomo Caves. There we were guided into an underground limestone cavern, formed millions of years ago by the changing seafloor. In addition to seeing all the stalactites and stalagmites that take an insanely long time to form, we were also shown where the glowworms lived. As they were explaining it to us, they turned out the lights to point out these little blue-green dots glowing on the ceiling of the cavern.

They further explained that they are not actually worms at all, but the larval stage of the fungus gnat, and the whole larva doesn’t glow, just their rear ends. So instead of calling them what they actually are, bioluminescent ass maggots, some clever cog called them glowworms, and it stuck. Well done, there.

They also explained, when they shone a light on them, that all the long sticky strands hanging down from the ceiling, were how they fed. In the pitch black, flies would get lost and head for the light thinking it was the exit, only to get caught in the sticky strands. Over the course of a week, the glowworm would pull that strand up and eat the fly. After a few months, the glowworm would pull all their strands up, cocoon, and eventually turn into what would be an annoying little gnat, were it to live long enough. But they emerge with no mouths, so they pretty much mate, lay eggs, and then die. The males live a little longer desperately trying to mate with as many females as possible, before dropping from starvation. Or getting caught in another larval strand and being eaten by another glowworm.

Biology lesson over, we boarded a boat in an underground river, and set out into the pitch black where the ceiling was covered by thousands of glowworms, making it look like a starry sky. Unfortunately, photos were not allowed as the insects are very sensitive to light, living their entire lives in the darkness, so I have nothing to show you here. They did let us take a photo as we were leaving the cavern to the outside world, which gives you an idea of where we had just come from.

Shiny-ass maggots out of the way, our next stop—and highlight for a lot of people was—Hobbiton, the set of the Shire in Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings. When Peter Jackson, a native Kiwi, first contracted with this rural sheep farmer who had no idea what these books were about, he agreed to return his land to a sheep pasture when they were done. As such, Hobbiton was intentionally not built to last. When the Lord of the Rings trilogy did well, and they made The Hobbit, this time they built them with longevity in mind as the site had already started garnering attention from fans.

When our tour time arrived, we boarded the Hobbiton buses from the visitor centre, and took a 15-minute drive through the winding hills to our drop-off point with our guide. She led us through the set pointing out the various hobbit holes, as well as the different sizes of the doors. Since hobbits are much smaller than humans, they had to use a lot of visual trickery to convey this, including having some hobbits homes much smaller than others, depending on what they were being used for.

The homes, we learned were sadly just façades and didn’t actually go into the hills. Some part of me knew this would be the case, but I was still sad to confirm it. There was one home we were allowed to stand in the doorway of and open, but there was nothing inside, just a shallow place to stand. We obviously walked past Bag End, the home of Bilbo and then Frodo, but weren’t allowed to go in for the same reason of there being no in. That was apparently all filmed off set.

As our tour through the hills was wrapping up, they did reveal that because there had been so many visitors over the years, they had recently built two functional hobbit homes that we could walk through. As filming wrapped over a decade now, neither of these existed when filming was happening. But regardless, I absolutely loved them. All the detail that went into the set pieces outside was cool and all, but the work that they did inside… I want to live in one of those, were it actually functional. They were so cosy!

Our tour ended at the Green Dragon Tavern where we each received a free drink—brewed on premises—met our group, and bussed back to the visitor centre. I had wanted to find something in the gift shop, but it was all way too over-commercialised. Still looking for that cloak though…

Our first day ended when we eventually made our way into Rotorua, a city heavy with geothermal activity. Since New Zealand exists as a result of volcanos and tectonic activity, there are many places like this throughout the Ring of Fire where the water is naturally hot and element-heavy. Here, there just so happened to have a lot of sulphur in the water, which gave the town that lovely rotten egg smell. But it does do wonders for the skin.

Our hotel even had a direct feed of hot sulphur water for the pools that we could soak in. But due to me not wearing sunblock and having legs that were still lobster-red, I figured sticking them in 40 °C water was probably not the best idea. Especially since the shower was at times painful. So we just had dinner, and I relaxed for the evening—only slightly salty that I wasn’t able to soak. Stupid sun… every vacation…grumbling intensifies.

We had to catch such an early ferry to Waiheke Island so we could meet the EcoZip Adventures van at the ferry since the buses weren’t running yet. We met our group and the van drove us farther into and up the island where we would spend the next couple of hours zip lining with stunning views and then a nature walk through the forest back up. Thankfully, it was overcast, so I at least didn’t have to deal with the brightness. I still applied copious amounts of sunscreen though.

After our adventure ended, we were dropped off at the closest hop-on-hop-off bus stops, and caught that to the last stop which was Onetangi Beach. After all the heat and slight humidity, the strong breeze and the surf were lovely. We grabbed a tasty local lunch at a nearby restaurant, and caught the next bus back inwards.

I mentioned it earlier, but while there is public transit on the island, we bought a day pass for the hop-on-hop-off bus that stops at all the main tourist stops. Our next stops were one of the many wineries/vineyards on the island, and thence to an olive oilery. I don’t think it’s actually called that, but they grow their own olives and press their own EVOO. We had tastings at both (I skipped the wine), and two bottles were purchased. They had an amazing non-pesto herbal spread that I would have loved to bring back, but it needed to be kept refrigerated.

By this time in the day, the consequences of not putting on sufficient sunscreen on the day before whilst on the boat, had been rearing its ugly, scorched head. Between the pretty bad burn, and all the walking I started to develop edema, along with a bit of pain. So after a stop in the little village to have gelato, we had to call it a day.

We made it back to the ferry and then the 40-minute ride back across. I stopped by the grocery store for some aloe vera, and called it done for the day once I reached the hotel. Shower, aloe, feet up, and ordered pizza to be delivered. I was done.

Given my past adventures with walking, I’m going to rule out the mere 10k steps I did as the culprit, and go with the intense UV burn still radiating out of my legs as the cause for the swelling. Tomorrow at least is a lot of sitting, so here’s to being better then.

That purchased, we head to the wharf where we meet our Whale and Dolphin Safari guides, and head out into the gulf. We opt to sit on the bow, despite warnings that we’re in the splash zone. I’ve already slathered myself in sunscreen, and I’m wearing a light jacket for the wind and spray. I should be good this time, right?

It’s not really foreshadowing if I outright tell you, but I wasn’t. I forgot my legs. I’m full lobster now.

But the aquatic safari was great before I realised my blunder. It was a four-hour cruise about the gulf in search for dolphins and/or whales, but the waters were pretty choppy, and we had to detour around a few islands to find calmer waters. This led to quite a few people getting seasick, and unfortunately not much by way of sightings. We were fine and hung out on the bow long after most people had left, enjoying the wind in our faces and the occasional spray. Eventually, our waiting paid off and we found a school of dolphins. I’ve seen them before, but never this close to the boat. They were really curious and kept coming back, which was fun to watch.

The safari has a guarantee that you’ll see something, or they’ll give you a rain check to come back another time, which doesn’t expire. And they could easily have been like, all y’all saw dolphins, you’re good. But they announced on the way back that they have a high standard there, and they didn’t feel we saw enough, plus the choppy water made a few people seasick, and they decided to give us all vouchers anyway. I’m sure a lot of them will go unused, but it was still pretty decent of them. But that’s kinda the vibe I get from Kiwis in general.

After a quick stop at the hotel, we catch a bus to the outskirts of town where we got tickets to the planetarium to see a show on constellations as part of the Māori culture. We didn’t, however, realise just how small the place was, and we allotted way too much time to see the exhibits before the show began. A lot of it was basic astronomy and exhibits for kids, but the part I really found interesting was how the constellations were used to tell the months/seasons, as well as for way finding. I wanted to see a lot more of that, but again, tiny museum. The show did go a bit more into it, but it was more of a talk with planetarium visuals than a film, and it was their first run, so… maybe next time.

Also, who knew Moana was a true story?

After an hour-long taxi ride—or maybe it just felt like an hour after everything else—we finally made it to the hotel, checked in, showered and made our way outside around 20:45 just to stretch our legs a bit and see about some food. Other than a number of bars that clearly cater to the college kids, there wasn’t much in our immediate surroundings, so just to make life easier, we had dinner at the hotel. And then pretty much passed out immediately after.

I slept about ten hours, which I clearly needed, but at some point we needed to face the day. So a hearty breakfast, also at the hotel, and off we went. At some point in the past, we were warned that the New Zealand sun hits harder. I did not heed this advice and am currently much redder than I should be. Not burnt per se, but my first order of business tomorrow is buying sunscreen and a hat.

At any rate, we wanted an easy day, so we just wandered around the city and visited a few parks, looked in a few stores, and had lunch in the Britomart area. It had previously popped up in some touristy search of the area, but I think its claim to fame is shopping, which is probably why I didn’t remember it. I forget exactly where we ate, but it was British pub inspired. Surprisingly good food though.

We ventured back to the hotel to plan out our week, and after some back and forth figured out what we wanted to do—and what was actually realistic—and made our reservations. That out of the way, and around a little after four, we left for the evening to catch the Bayswater ferry across the bay to Takapuna, a suburb of Auckland, via a lovely stroll though the Bayswater neighbourhood. Why might we be venturing out to a suburb you ask? Because we decided to do an escape room whilst we were here. To no one’s surprise, I’m sure. Not quite as good as lying in a crypt/morgue drawer, or crawling through a pitch black tunnel, like back in PDX, but it was still enjoyable.

We caught the bus back to the ferry, and a quick ride across the bay and back to the hotel. Tomorrow is another day, and another adventure. This time we’re going whale watching!

I’ll spare you the tearful goodbyes.

The flight from PDX to YVR was quicker than I remembered it, getting us there in only about an hour. It was a rather small plane, so I’m not sad about that. Right now, we’re at our gate waiting for the 15-hour flight to Brisbane. We leave just before midnight on Friday, and arrive eight in the morning two days later. Saturday will not exist for us. But like daylight saving time, we’ll make it up on the way back in a week.

Speaking of daylight saving, because we just left, and because they just started (it being spring down there), we went from 19 hours to 21 hours apart. Except the closer you get to 24 hours, the less time difference there is. So right now, they’re three hours behind us… except tomorrow. If our flight leaves 23:55 on Friday, it’ll be 20:55 in New Zealand, but Saturday. More or less like going from the east coast to the west coast of the US. Though, and especially as I get older, three hours is more than enough to throw me off. Hell, the one-hour difference for daylight saving throws me off for a week.

I’m getting old. And it’s definitely past my bedtime.

That said, today wasn’t anything special. After having been on the move daily for the last week and a half, I was fine with staying put for a bit. I did go out and do some last minute souvenir shopping, trying to use up the last of my yen… As well as take advantage of the tax-free shopping. I guess there is one benefit to being in this consumer-driving district.

Tonight I had dinner at a fantastic little ramen shop. Fantastic because it caters to the socially inept, the agoraphobics, and those who just want to eat alone. When you enter the store, you make your order at a multi-lingual kiosk. After paying, it dispenses a number of tickets that you then bring with you. Before entering the dining room, you check the board to see which seats are free, and make your way to your own tiny booth. Tiny as in just enough room for your arms and a bowl.

When you arrive, the back screen is lifted and the faceless server behind passes you a sheet in multiple languages for you to select how spicy, how chewy, how garlicky you want your ramen. You pass that back with the tickets you received from the kiosk. They thank you and close the screen. You’re now alone in your booth… but still sitting very close to the diners on either side of you. There are partitions so there is at least a semblance of crowded privacy.

Eventually the screen opens up again and your food is delivered. They even have multi-lingual wooden tags to show the waitstaff if you don’t want to (can’t) communicate with them. It made me so happy thinking of Spain and how they would view this. Schadenfreude, that’s not me!

Tomorrow, I’m not sure what I’ll do with myself. I check out at 10:00, but don’t have to leave for the airport until 15:00. So I have a bit of time to kill. I don’t have any more room in my luggage, and I’ve spent more than enough, so I’m my shopping has come to a close. We’ll see. I’ll be fine no matter what it is.

So おやすみなさい¹ Japan, until next time.

The local train to Okayama was nothing special, it did the job. But when I arrived there, that’s when it started to get dicey. I passed from the local section, through the gates, and to the bullet train section looking for my train which was supposed to leave in twelve minutes. I don’t know if it was related to the storms that cancelled my train yesterday, but not only was my train not showing, the train before and after mine were significantly delayed. And if there’s one thing I know about the Japanese train system, especially the bullet trains, is they are very punctual.

I asked one of the staff about my train, and she told me it was cancelled and just to grab a non-reserved seat on any train that would get me there. I had been paying for assigned seats in the reserved cars just to not have to deal with the stress of fighting for a seat should it be crowded, and today I had to do just that. Thank whomever the Japanese are polite and orderly (thinking back to China where I was elbowed out of the way by an old lady as everyone tried to cram onto the bus at once). To that end, they have indicators for each car and where to board, as well as markings on the ground to queue up. I took my place in a shortish line and hoped for the best as the train that was due was perpetually “25 minutes delayed”.

As I was waiting, another train was announced on the opposite track of the same platform also heading to Osaka, but hitting every stop before then as well. It wasn’t delayed, but it also hadn’t arrived yet. I held my ground in line having a decent spot as people had been leaving for other options. Eventually the train arrived whilst the board still indicated “25 minutes delayed”.

But as it did, I noticed it was rather full looking through the windows. Some passengers alighted, and those in front of me got on. But just as I made it to the front of the queue, the previous passengers were struggling to fit inside.

I was not going to make it on this train. Resigning myself to possibly having to take the next delayed train, the aforementioned train that would stop at every stop arrived, and it appeared to be empty!

I quickly left the queue and jumped into the other. The doors opened, and I made my way inside with no trouble whatsoever and quickly found a seat. This might be a slower bullet train, but at least I wouldn’t be standing in an overcrowded train. From my window I saw the train I didn’t make it on and the queue had vanished. Apparently, they had instructed passengers to make their way into the aisles as well. I did not relish the idea of doing that. Even at the near relativistic speeds obtained by the marvels of Japanese transportation, it still would have taken at least an hour to get to where I would be heading on that train.

After what was a rather pleasant couple of hours not pretending to be a sardine, we arrived at Osaka. When I left the week previous, the air was approaching the point where it was no longer a gas, but a superheated plasma. Today it was rather pleasant. Because of course it would be as I finished my trip.

Barely breaking a sweat as I made my way from the bullet trains to the local subway, I quickly found where I needed to go and took the train a few stops. When I booked my trip, and the hotels before and after, I decided to switch things up and try a different hotel. This one was a fancy hotel.

Yeah, I’m not fancy. I don’t know what I was thinking.

One of the main draws for this hotel, I would assume, is its location right in the shopping district, full of Gucci, Louis Vuitton, and… The Gap. My hotel actually had an entrance via the subway. It was convenient of course, but I had to pass a plethora of shops and jewelry stores just to get to the lobby. It’s like when you go to the mall, and you have to walk through the perfume section just to get out the door.

And that’s clearly not me.

It’s fine. It’s just a hotel. I’m a bit early so I wait in the lobby about half an hour to check in. The staff is as obsequious as I’ve come to expect, no complaints there. But I do feel bad having a tiny Japanese woman in her twenties carry my bag which is bigger than she is up to my room. I tried to carry it myself, but I’ve learned not to try and out-polite them. It’s a losing game. I didn’t want her to carry it, but I would have had to make a scene to get her to let me carry it, and it would have been worse for her in the long run. So carry it she did.

The room is smallish, which I suppose isn’t surprising given the price I paid, but I don’t need opulence. It does have a window from the bathroom into the main bedroom area, so we know what clientele they serve. And while they have breakfast options here, they are not included in the price of the room. The little three-star “budget” hotel I stayed at when I arrived had a rather tasty complementary breakfast, but the Hotel Nikko Osaka was magnanimous enough to drop the price of breakfast from $40 to $32 for hotel guests. I think I’ll pass.

Out of morbid curiosity, I checked the menu options. A simple coffee is $13. Something about that really bothers me. So being the mature grown-up that I am, I have started using as many of the complementary amenities in the room as I realistically can.

Why yes, I do need the use of your provided toothbrush and toothpaste. And men’s facial wash you say? Don’t mind if I do.

I’m not looking forward to drinking four cups of tea tomorrow morning, but at this point I feel I’ve committed myself.

I called my tour company, who has been amazing with customer service and encourages us to call for issues such as these or if needing help with an impassable language barrier, etc. They said they would take care of it and they did. They arranged the taxi to pick me up at 10:20 as planned, but instead of merely dropping me at the train station, it took me all the way to today’s hotel.

In another city.

An hour and twenty minutes away.

But first, I needed to experience the rotenburo one more time. Since it was early in the morning and most people were in the process of checking out, and since I was in the process of hearing back from my tour company, I brought my phone up with me.

I definitely disobeyed the signs on this one, but as no one’s privacy was invaded, it felt worth the risk.

When the time came, I took a taxi for more than an hour, which racked up a hefty $150 equivalent fee. I figured oh well, what else could I do? But it turns out that the tour group was covering it. No complaints here! They really have been an amazing company to work with, and I’d have no reservations about going with them again.

At any rate, I arrived at my hotel, but four hours early. And it was still pouring. So my choice was either sit in the hotel lobby, or use an umbrella. Which goes against every fiber of my Portland being.

I ashamedly chose the umbrella. I had to go to the train station anyway to try and buy my ticket back to Osaka and off Shikoku island. And while my top half stayed dry, and my shorts are the kind that don’t stay wet for long, my sneakers were squelching with water after a few minutes. Less than pleasant.

But once again, the overly helpful Japanese came to my aid when I explained at the railway station that I wanted to buy a ticket (the ticket machines can be a bit daunting) and asked about the train ticket I didn’t get to use today. A guy come from behind the counter to assist me with the machine, and even went so far as to call the railroad customer service to get my tickets for today refunded and then helped me book my ticket for tomorrow. Such lovely people!

That accomplish and with time to spare, I started heading back toward the hotel as that’s where all the shops were. But the incessant downpour and already sodden shoes made it a less than ideal experience. Additionally, due to limited luggage space, and a something of a minimalist spirit, I didn’t find any of the typical souvenir trinkets being sold appealing enough to venture in, so I made my way back to the hotel to wait out the storm. Or check-in whichever came first.

It was check-in. I guess all that humidity had to go somewhere, and that somewhere was my shoes. And, sure, I suppose the surrounding environs, but that was hardly what I was focusing on. I made my way to my room, not upset to see a western bed though with the traditional tatami flooring, which was an interesting juxtaposition I hadn’t encountered yet. My experience thus far has been “tatami flooring = futon, carpet = western bed”. Not that it matters, just something of note.

Despite having already used the onsen this morning at the previous hotel, I opted for another soak here as well. I will admit the first time I experienced communal bathing on day two of the tour, it was something of a novelty as well as a “when in Rome” attitude. Now it’s no big deal, and in some small way, I think I’ll miss it. Mostly in a “oh, the Puritans never plagued your lands” kind of way.

Today’s hotel also featured an outdoor onsen, but nothing like the previous one, and I don’t think I’d go so far as to call it a rotenburo. There were two indoor tubs here, with a connecting door that led to the patio and the outdoor onsen, which had more of a western hot tub vibe, minus the jets. Still it was nice being outdoors, and the chilly rain falling from above was a nice contrast.

I was also happy to see a small cold pool at this location. Being overly hot in general, soaking in hot water does nothing to help that, and I find I continue sweating long after I’ve exited the water. Being able to sit in cold water for a few moments to lower my temperature was a nice change.

Given the rain, not much else occurred with what was left of my afternoon, and it quickly became time for dinner. Once again, the food was phenomenal. I will definitely miss how well I’ve eaten here. It hasn’t been cheap, as far as I can tell, but having pre-paid for all of this since February has definitely made it more palatable.

Tomorrow morning officially marks the end of this trip, which is both too soon as well as I’m ready to be home and not in a new location every night. Osaka was the bookend to this trip, so we’ll see what I get around to doing there. But for now, winding down it is.

After my included breakfast, in which I leaned heavily into the Western food (I really do love the food here, but you know, I’m not from here so sometimes french toast just hits the spot), I walked next door to the train station to buy my ticket for today, and tomorrow. That out of the way, I just had a nice relaxing morning getting myself ready and reading up on what was in store for the rest of the trip. A trip that’s quickly coming to a close!

I caught my train with time to spare, and took it from the eastern side of the island to the western to the beautiful Iya Valley. From the train station it was a half-hour taxi ride to Hotel Kazurabashi, nestled in the forested mountains. And for the first time, due I think to the elevation, it wasn’t horrible out. Still muggy, but not sweltering.

But better than that, Kazurabashi is well-known for its rotenburo.¹ In order to get to it, you leave the hotel via the third floor and take a cable car up the side of the mountain to the onsen overlooking the valley. And it was beautiful.

Obviously I can’t take pictures of the onsen since, well, everyone’s naked and that usually doesn’t fly. But just sitting there in the hot water out in nature just staring at the trees in the distance was what I needed after this long trip.

After a nice relaxing soak, and cooling down afterward, I made my way down to an earlier dinner, which was around these fire bits with sunken feet space. So you’re sitting at ground level, but your feet go below the floor. Food was served my the waitstaff in the traditional manner of kneeling at your table to present the food they’re bringing out, which I believe is why the floor was as it was.

The food was once again delicious, and not surprising, I’ve eaten so much fish this trip. Sashimi I’m generally fine with, and it turns out I like eel which I had never had before, but whole bone-in fish… I am not prepared to eat that on a normal day. Way too many little bones and seemingly little meat. But to eat it with chopsticks? I definitely failed that.

Dinner out of the way, I got ready for a nighttime adventure to see the Kazurabashi Bridge or Iya Vine Bridge. This bridge is the longest of three in the Iya Valley that retains the unique building technique of using the sarunashi² vines to hold the wooden slats together. A nighttime visit allows you to see it illuminated, but for safety reasons they only allow you to cross it during the day.

But the real highlight of this nighttime jaunt was boarding the rickety old bus full of non-English speakers, no idea what’s being communicated, and then the driver starts playing what sounds like old Japanese opera recorded off a record player. #LivingMyBestLife

And with that, I made it back to my room to settle in for the penultimate night of my tour. Tomorrow night is it, as the following day I’m back to my own devices again, and figuring out my way back to Osaka before I return home on Wednesday.

It’s been a unique trip, that’s for certain. And definitely one that’s been memorable.

This morning I woke up bright and early as the sun shone through the shoji¹ and the heat coming through was palpable. That didn’t bode well for the day. After having breakfast and checking out, I walked the 3km to the bus stop where I had transferred to the mini-bus yesterday. I was early, so they kindly let me wait in the sort of office they operate out of. Being that it was air-conditioned, I was glad of it.

We eventually departed Kawaguchi for Hiwasa. Today was supposed to be an easy day; a short walk to the temple, an easy 6km loop overlooking the sea, and wait for the train to take me to Tokushima. It did happen that way, but I had a mental shift near the end of the walk.

To wit: I’m done with the heat and humidity. I really had assumed this trip would have been nothing I hadn’t already done in Spain on the Camino. But I forgot how much I do not do well in the humidity. Having lived in dry climates for the last 15+ years, it really takes its toll on me. Not to mention I’m already a furnace as it is.

Today’s temple was a quick five-minute walk away, and I was already mostly saturated. I paid my respects, received my nokyo shuin, and backtracked to the train station having stopped by the convenience store to grab more electrolyte drink. With four liters I once again set out.

I made my way up to Hiwasa Castle, though it was closed, so I continued on the path to the ocean overlooks. They were beautiful, and I was glad for the opportunity to rest a bit, but doing so in clothes that were soaked head to toe was less than appealing. The breeze was nice, but that I just meant I was approximately 80% saturated. It still felt disgusting.

Checking my watch, I was fairly ahead of schedule. The recommended train from Hiwasa station was at 14:43, but given how early I was, I felt confident I could make the 12:43 which would put me in Tokushima just after check-in at 14:00. As much as I would have liked to sit and stare at the sea, it didn’t seem worth it to do for an additional two hours. So after catching my breath and drinking profusely, I continued on.

Every time I thought we must be near the end because we were descending, it would ascend once again. With my strength and resolved sapped by the weather, I admitted defeat and changed my view of the trip.

It was no longer a walkabout of temples. It was a tour of Japanese onsen and food… that happened to have some walking involved.

The reason that this is relevant is that the book I received on my first day of the tour is more than one-hundred pages of directions, maps, charts, guides and anything else one could need to make this 8-day journey by oneself. And part of that includes options to shorten or skip the days walking each day. The company I’m going through has been planning these tours for 30 years, and I’m sure they’ve learned that people’s desires change as the days go on. Mine certainly has.

Had I not come during a prolonged extreme heat warning, I’m sure I would have enjoyed that aspect. But now, I’m going to focus on enjoying the hot springs, the food, and the amenities, and be grateful for the opportunity to visit this amazing country.

And that’s how I came to find myself on the eleventh floor of Hotel Clement Tokushima on a Western-style bed with my laundry about to go into the dry-cycle, and planning my dinner of supposedly famous ramen down the street. Tomorrow, I plan on sleeping in, having a leisurely breakfast, skip the walk and take the 12:00 train headed for the picturesque Iya Valley.

It’s my vacation, so it is what I make of it. I’m not going to make myself feel bad for not finishing an arbitrary goal. After all, it’s not as if the shrines were the selling point for me and that this is something I’ve set my sights on for years. The self-guided walking tour was just a means to an end. And in the end, I will adjust my sights so that when I go home next Wednesday, I will be happy with my time spent in Japan, looking forward to the next time I come and visit the Land of the Rising Sun.

No, today I thought my legs would give out on the 900+ meter¹ ascent, which in reality was 450 up one mountain, down the other side, and another 450 up the next mountain. Granted, I will admit that I am not in the best shape of my life, but by the end I was taking baby steps up the mountain, wondering if this would be my new home. Generations of pilgrims would tell tales of the bearded white guy roaming the forest, urging them to turn back lest they succumb to his fate.

But I did make it though. But barely. My apologies to the god of temple 21 for not visiting properly. I hope to some day make it up to you.

Yes, I was exhausted by the time I climbed the final stair. But more importantly, I had a bus to catch and if I missed it, I would be sitting on the side of the road for two hours, a fate I would not allow myself.

Stamp figuratively in hand, I made my way to the other side of the mountain and took the cable car down (this was not an option on the ascent from the direction I came via the previous temple), and from there walked the 15 minutes to the bus stop with plenty of time to spare.

I’m not sure if it works like this all over Japan, but at least in this area, you board the bus in the back and grab a numbered ticket. When you alight at your stop you match the number on your ticket to the number on the display at the front of the bus, and the amount underneath is how much you pay. The further you travel, the higher than number grows.

Once again, I would like to thank the Japanese for being ever so helpful to the clueless foreigner trying to navigate their transit system.

The last stop for the bus was a transfer to a minibus that took me a few minutes down the road to my accommodations for the evening, Momijigawa Onsen, which is a hot spring on the confluence of the Naka and Momiji (maple)-gawa rivers. It is well known for the autumn colors of the maple trees that line the river and grow throughout the countryside here. I think it was the heat and early enough in the year, but the foliage hadn’t yet started to turn. Still, it was a gorgeous place to spend the evening!

The onsen are usually situated in a way to increase one’s tranquility, and tonight’s was set against a large picture window of the river. If only it weren’t so hot out, I would generally love to soak longer. Even if just to stare out the window.

Unfortunately, since I was meant to be walking all day, I had arrived extra early. I sat in the lobby for a few hours catching up on correspondence and reading until my room was ready. Although it had the feel of a regular hotel, they still had the traditional rooms, and this one was by far the coziest / cutest I had been in yet.

After getting to my room and settling in, I eventually made my way to the private onsen. This hotel had two, and while the public one was much bigger, I preferred having a smaller quieter space to myself. It was lovely as they are wont to be, but taking pictures in a place with nudity is an obvious no go. But the large frosted windows showed something of the mountains in the distance, and it was a wonderful way to relax.

Once I had had my fill of soaking, and having done some laundry, it was about time for dinner. It was situated in a large banquet hall, and as always I had a table to myself since the Japanese are not about mingling whilst eating, a custom I was more than fine with. While they provided a menu this time it was all in Japanese, and the translations left me wondering about a few dishes. That said, it was very likely the second best meal I’ve had in my life. If there’s one takeaway from this trip, it’s the memory of all the delicious food I ate.

Retiring to my room, I found that the housekeeping staff had moved my table to the side and had laid out my futon for me. I was told that bigger places like this will often do that, while other smaller ones will leave it to your discretion.

So now I sit in the chairs by the window, watching the last remnants of light disappear and have zero regrets about the day and the resting I did. Tomorrow will be through a largely wooded area, and only 12km, so I’m hoping for a positive outcome. There will be an incredibly steep climb, but I descend the other side via cable car, so that should be a nice reprieve from having to walk back down again.

First day of the pilgrimage and it’s already too hot out as I leave. Thankfully the first temple is conveniently located next door. I’ve read up on the proper etiquette in temples, but first need my pilgrim’s gear, the most important of which (to me at least) is the nokyo-cho book wherein, after having prayed to/paid your respects to that temple’s main deity and then to a separate hall dedicated to the Great Teacher or Kōbō Daishi,¹ pilgrims can obtain a unique nokyo shuin² at each temple. And if there’s one thing I love, it’s a passport stamp (literally and figuratively). Whilst here I also purchase a kongo-zue³ and a nenju.⁴

Already having spent enough, I forego the traditional white coat, sash, and sedge hat (traditional conical hat), mostly for practicality reasons. With temperatures already reaching too high for eight in the morning, I’m sweating profusely as I start my trek. On advice from the tour company I went with and their extensive guide booklet, I stop at a nearby 7-Eleven (see previous comments) and grab an extra electrolyte drink and some snacks for the road and a later lunch.

Soon after I arrive at the second temple, pay my respects to their deity and Kobo Daishi, receive my nokyo shuin,² and continue on. Temple #3 isn’t too much farther along, and I repeat the process becoming more comfortable with each time I visit a new temple. But comfort isn’t something I’m likely to be experiencing for much longer.

The fourth temple is about 5.5km away and it’s growing progressively hotter. The Japanese Government issued a warning for the excessive heat, urging everyone to not partake in overexertive activities during the day. But I’ve walked the Camino, and this is a relatively easy walk for me with a very mild elevation gain. I’ll be fine I try to convince myself. What hubris.

By the time I reach the fourth temple, I’m struggling. Not in a “I haven’t exercised nearly enough kind of way” but more in a “I think I might actually be having heat stress” kind of way. By now I’ve finished the first liter of electrolyte drink and the liter of water I was carrying. Having never carried more than two liters on me during the Camino over much larger distances, I didn’t think I’d need more than this. But as I start to drink my second liter of electrolyte drink, I realize three liters wasn’t going to be enough.

I stop longer at this temple than all the others, as I need time to recover. There’s a shaded area between two buildings where they’ve set up an electric fan. I’ve already doused my neck gaiter in water and as I sit in front of the fan, desperately trying to cool off, I take stock of the situation. One of the workers tells me the 5th temple has a vending machine, and it’s not that far away and downhill, so I set out after I’ve recovered sufficiently.

The gravity assist as well as the slight breeze that picked up, boosts my spirits a bit, and things don’t seem nearly as grave as they did previously. Within almost no time at all I’ve reached the fifth temple. Here I re-soak my neck gaiter and have a bit of a snack. I’m still sweating, which is a good sign since I haven’t moved into heat stroke territory. But unfortunately there is no vending machine. I’m about halfway through my electrolyte drink, and at this point I don’t feel too bad all things considered. But I need more fluids, and I’m not going to find them here. Looking at the route ahead, it’s a flat 5km to the sixth and final temple of the day, but more importantly, along the way there’s a 7-Eleven which would be my salvation.

At this point in the day, the sun is directly overhead and beating down on me ferociously. I didn’t realize until too late that there was a small gap between the top of my shirt, and the bottom of my neck gaiter. As soon as I realize my mistake, I rub in sunscreen, and apply it to my arms as well which are starting to turn red. I should have done this earlier I scold myself. The heat is getting intense, but it’s the humidity that makes it feel so much worse. Having lived in arid climates the past 15+ years, I am not used to the misery that is saturated air. And it’s starting to show.

I arrive at the air-conditioned 7-Eleven and take my time perusing the aisles. I don’t want to take too long, because dallying only means I’ll arrive later, and I very much want to be done with today. I grab two more liters of water and two more liters of electrolyte drink. I transfer one liter of water to my water bottle, and start chugging the second to rehydrate. I realize I haven’t had to urinate today, despite how much fluid I’ve been consuming. That can’t be good.

With no other choice than to press on, I make my way back to the route and continue along. So close and yet so far away. I stop under the shade of a tree and chug more electrolyte drink. My backpack has more empty plastic bottles in it than anything else at this point. I stop again under a shaded canopy just to not be in the sun. This is brutal. But I’m almost there.

Eventually I arrive at the last temple of the day. I sit on a bench under an awning near a fountain and just rest. I’m weary and light-headed and I really should have urinated more by now, but I’m still sweating. I’ve never been so happy to be sweating before. After the day I’ve had, I skip visiting their deity and Kobo Daishi, and head straight inside to get my nokyo shuin². I feel bad about breaking etiquette, but not that bad. I need to rest.

The entrance to the accommodations is across the courtyard. I take off my shoes in the entrance way and exchange them for a pair of slippers, grab my room key, and head up to my room. Since we’re staying on temple grounds for pilgrims, the rooms are austere. I’m just glad to be done with the day. I’m even more glad that my room has AC. I lower the temperature, and just sit in under it. For a long time. I made it, but I was foolish. If I ever thought I was in real danger, the tour company was just a call away, and would have gladly arranged a taxi to pick me up and deliver me to the end. I think it was that safety net, combined with my own particular brand of stubbornness, that made me push on. Was it worth it? I’m not really sure.

When I feel normal again, and after finishing even more fluids, I shed my sweaty clothes, don the yukata that was left for me in my room, grab my towel and head down to the communal baths. This is to be my first experience at an onsen,⁵ and while I love a hot soak, the extreme temperatures make me less excited than I was before setting off to Japan. But I’m a mess and need to clean up, so I press on.

Communal bathing is not something we’re used to in the West. The spas are segregated by gender, and upon entry you disrobe and leave everything but your small washing towel in a basket, and enter the baths naked. There, low to the ground, are a number of stools in front of low-lying shower heads. Another Pilgrim is already in there scrubbing himself. I plop down a number of stools away start washing myself. Doing so sitting down, not to mention in shared company is an interesting experience, and a younger me would have paled at the idea. At this point in my life, and after the day I had, no fucks were given.

I washed away the grime and sweat, and when I was sufficiently clean and rinsed of all soap, I made my way into the soaking pool. This would be amazing in winter I think, but now my first and only thought is damn this is hot. Whatever. I sit down in it anyway, and acclimate quicker than I expect. After a bit the other Pilgrim joins me. As is custom, we exchange no words. I’m fine with this. He leaves. I’m not as hot as I expected to be, but I also know I had a stressful day, so I opt to leave earlier than perhaps normal not wanting to overdo it.

Resting in my room, re-clothed, I take stock of the day. I’m burned and in the process of rehydrating and tomorrow is supposed to be just as bad. So I decide to give myself the day off. I contact the tour company and explain my situation. They happily arranged for a taxi to collect me the next morning and take me to the next temple, and thence to my accommodation. I’m discouraged, because I don’t like to think I’m susceptible to these things, but I am.

After dinner, I skip the service at the temple, and just rest. Tomorrow’s a new day, with another adventure, but at least I won’t be sweating all the liquid I consume.

I did start urinating again, so that’s something.

“And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.’”

–Kurt Vonnegut

As I embark on a long journey from Osaka to Bando via four different trains and multiple hours of travel time, I can’t help but be reminded of this poignant quote. Gazing out the window at the rural Japanese countryside flying by, it becomes abundantly clear how Hayao Miyazaki¹ found his inspiration for his films. In this moment, if this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.

Upon arriving at my ryokan,² I am filled with delight as I experience the charm of tatami mats³ and futons⁴ for the first time. Dressing in a yukata⁵ for dinner only adds to the authenticity of this cultural immersion, despite the heat wave currently engulfing Japan. Thankfully, forecasts predict a cool-down next week, perfectly timed for my trip’s conclusion.

My first meal at the ryokan was truly amazing way to start my tour, although there were a few fishy foods that I couldn’t quite stomach due to personal preference and a weak appetite. This often happens when I travel internationally, but after a few days my appetite returns. Instead, it simply added another layer of adventure to my culinary experience in Japan.

Embracing the beauty and joy found within each moment during my journey has been an enriching experience. From the breathtaking landscapes to the warm hospitality at my ryokan, I am already grateful for these memories and excited for what tomorrow will bring.

Ticket in hand, I guessed my way to the correct platform and proceeded to evacuate my body’s entire water supply through every available pore. I’m so glad the Walk Japan packing list mentioned bringing a handkerchief, which I had in my back pocket and tried to discreetly not be the crazy foreigner melting all over their train platform. I didn’t succeed.

Once I got to Shin-Osaka I made my way out into the non-ticketed area and found a 7-Eleven. I feel obligated to mention here that like many American spin offs, countries with actual food regulations have better stores than we do. Not that the food there will be gourmet, but it’s actual food. But my detour there was because I had read their ATMs will accept foreign debit cards, where many in Japan will not, and Japan is a very cash-heavy society still. Post COVID, there are more options to pay contactless or with card, but many places (the rural inns and towns I will be visiting) are cash only. Cash in hand, I grabbed two large bottles of an electrolyte sports drink (again, food standards means it’s not all sugar and a colour hitherto not seen in nature, looking at you popular Florida beverage), and made my exodus of the sprawling underground warren that is the Shin-Osaka train station.

I think I planned it this way, it’s been a few months since I booked it in February, but the walk to the hotel was an easy ten minutes. Like most things Japanese, check-in was extremely efficient and done at a kiosk, where my room key was dispensed on scanning my passport. Up to my room I went, downed half of the liter of sports drink I had just purchased and blasted the AC in order to lower my core temperature to something a skosh less dangerous. (Fun fact I recently learned, skosh is not from the Yiddish as I had previously assumed, but a truncation of a Japanese word picked up back in the “let’s explode each other over ideas and land that we can’t take with us when we die” times. Which are sadly still now, but I’ve digressed enough.)

The rest of the evening proceeded uneventfully, though I did discover the toilet seat had a built-in warmer in addition to wall controls to help keep you sanitary after you’ve concluded your business. I attempted to stay up until a normal bedtime but by 9ish I was not long for the waking world. I slept fairly soundly and woke at a crisp 6 am. Leisurely morning and complementary hotel breakfast later, I was deciding what to do today.

Osaka Castle and the aquarium kept coming up, so I ventured out to by my metro day pass and made my way to the castle. I’m glad I bought my ticket online because the line to get to the ticket window was long. I got to just skip the line and have a QR code scanned for entry. I made my way up the winding stairs to the castle entrance to find misters along the way. But due to how humid it was, the mist literally did not stick to me. I honestly could not feel it, nor were my clothes nor glasses wet whilst passing through. Have I whined mentioned the weather yet?

Sadly, I was disappointed in the castle. I was hoping to find a legit old Japanese castle, something like when visiting the château in France or elsewhere in Europe. I don’t know if something happened to the building, but it was completely modern inside and housed a museum that felt like it could have been in any building with any edifice. I will admit I didn’t spend a lot of time looking at the exhibits, as they were about a very niche historical subject and mostly text. And even though there was a bit of air conditioning, seven floors of reading about a war I had never heard of, wasn’t as appealing as I had hoped it to be.

Next up the aquarium. It looked so close on the map, but much like Europeans visiting the States, I discovered how long Japan is. Roughly the height of the contiguous United States. An hour, two trains, and twenty minutes of walking later I found the aquarium. As had the rest of world, apparently. Unlike the castle, pre-purchasing tickets was not an option, and they were currently selling admission for 3 in the afternoon. It was currently just before noon. And as much fun as it would be to hang out for three hours waiting for my time to visit, I opted to enter a mall-like object instead because I knew it’d be cooler in there. I did actually find a store that looked promising to find a fan 🪭 and instead bought two as well as a bunch of other things I could vaguely justify buying. Eh, the exchange rate was in our favor, so why not. From there I wandered around a bit and found a place to eat the looked appetizing. I also splurged for a strawberry milk boba drink that was really quite good. Unlike the pink stuff most people think of hearing strawberry milk, this was more like milk plus strawberry purée with boba. Zero regrets.

Not finding anything else that interested me, I made my way back whence I came, got lost once again in the Shin-Osaka train station looking for the 7-Eleven that sold me my sports drink, found a different 7-Eleven (there are at least four that I’ve found in said train station), got lost again trying to find the appropriate exit (there are at least 11), found the wrong one I used last night and just was happy to have found my way out again. Until I was embraced by the humidity once again, much like walking around in clothes you pulled out of the dryer just a little too early. But the hotel was close enough, and now I am back in my room with the AC blasting and mostly dry again.

So here I am trying to muster the will to go out again tonight, though I’m sure once the hunger sets in it’ll be much easier. I discovered this about myself in Japan, but I just get little enjoyment out of adventuring around new places by myself. But that’s not why I came here. I came to be an abridged Pilgrim on the Shikoku path to nirvana, which begins tomorrow. And that’s the part that I’m looking forward to.

Well, minus the humidity. Seriously, it’s insane. But I’ve seen locals mopping themselves and doing the quick up-the-bottom-of-the-shirt wipe down with a cloth, so I at least feel a little better it’s not just me.

As I sit here at PDX, waiting for my flight to Vancouver, BC (YVR), and thence to Osaka (KIX) I can’t help but feel a mix of anticipation and anxiety. My initial flight out of Portland was delayed, which has thrown a wrench into my carefully planned itinerary. However, the new times should still give me enough time to make my connection - if everything goes smoothly.

My heart sinks as I receive an update that the flight is further delayed than expected. This means that when we land, I’ll be racing against the clock to board my connecting flight with only half an hour to spare. To add another layer of excitement (or stress), I have to go through passport control at YVR - which could be either quick and painless or a lengthy delay

However, there is some good news amidst this travel chaos. Back when I booked my trip I decided to invest in travel protection, which cost me around $250. Due to the delay now being over two hours, they’re now refunding me the full amount of $1200+ without making any changes to my current itinerary! While missing my connection is not ideal, knowing that I won’t be out a thousand dollars softens the blow significantly.

All is Not Lost

As we were landing in YVR we learned that there were 19 of us aboard this flight headed to Osaka. Faced with the prospect of figuring out how to re-seat us all on a different flight, they opted to hold the plane! And what’s more, the flight attendants let us get off first. Passport control for a connecting flight turned out to be incredibly easy too. We merely had to scan our passports at a kiosk, and we were good to go. So all said and done, the lot of us made it and we’re about to take off only thirty minutes behind schedule.

Next stop, Osaka!