28 july 2025
I admit I'm a bit lost.
In the past week I created a social media presence, the first non-Git related presence since I left my job. And it has been humbling, I suppose. I have zero social capital. And it has alienated me from people in the field I'm familiar with -- and have once talked to, but they of course cannot remember me or my contributions. It's impossible. So now I'm in this liminal space of not being anyone. It's frustrating as being in traffic.
After being rejected and frustrated by gatekeepers who obviously sense me a threat because why else do I know so much and am just around when they don't remember me? I've admittedly been absent for so long, and I know I haven't done anything to cause shame. So after being sad about it, I've decided to read more fiction and write.
The experience is like therapy, and I wonder if my future career is one that is more humble, and I like the idea. But I worry -- did I do everything for nothing?