Well, it has been awhile.
I have forgotten about this blog. I like the idea of blogging, yet I forget to do it.
I think the reason I like blogging so much is the idea that I have somehow left my mark on the world. In some far off future maybe some kid looking through old archives of this thing they used to call “the internet” will find my blog and I’ll live again, even if it is only for a brief time.
Yet at the same time I feel I have nothing to talk about. Nothing of value to add to the internet.
I grew up always being told that I will do great things. I am smart, I have so much potential. I made the mistake of believing that. No, I don’t think of myself as hopeless, or dumb. But it is a constant pressure I have in the back of my heda. I often feel I cannot do things simply for the sake of doing them. There always has to be an end goal with a pay-off. You’d think this would make me successful, yet all it has done is made me not try anything at all. I am in my fourth decade here on earth and there is so much I have not done.
I am trying something with this entry, no backspacing. I can fix typos and mistakes, but once I have written a word on the paper (so to speak) it is not coming off. Trying to stop the constant cycle of tweaking and editing.
I hope to write more. I want to share stuff with the world, even if it is not the best.
– Hifi