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21 Nov 21

Notes from the week of 21 Nov 2021

21 Nov 10-11:30 AM Rebornme 96 people
Non alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries....it fills you up but you don't get the buzz

" Think of the problem drinker who has chosen to abstain from alcohol. When that person takes even one drink (”violating” their abstinence), the tendency is to think, “I really blew it…I’m a failure…might as well keep on drinking now!” I refer to this as a case of the “screw-it’s” (although harsher language is not uncommon!); a sense of giving up. No, you were sober for 3650 days in 10 years, very impressive"

Do more of the ABC exercises across the holiday's

Try to do a daily Lion's Breath https://www.verywellfit.com/lions-breath-pose-3566757

STOPP

  • Stop what you are doing
  • Take a Breath
  • Observe – describe the feelings, images, thoughts, body sensations, triggers.
  • Pull back / Put in some Perspective. What’s the bigger picture? Take the helicopter view. Is this fact or opinion? How would someone else see this? Is there another way of looking at this?
  • Practice what works. What is the best thing to do right now – for me, for others, for the situation.

Tradition, peer pressure from dead people.

Good discussion, good meeting to return back to.

21 November 2021 7:00-8:30 PM Bobbe 67 people

General beginners meeting 15 topics, this is week 10/12, start with week 1 on 13 Dec

DOC = drug / destruction of choice. SOC = Substances of Choice BOC = Behavior of Choice Patience and practice

  • Build and maintain motivation
  • Cope with urges
  • Manage thoughts, feelings and behaviors
  • Achive lifestyle balance

Lifestyle balance ... How to achieve it?

  • Take an inventory
  • Be honest
  • Go with your gut
  • Plan and prepare
  • Get support
  • Balance
  • Have fun

Lifestyle balance wheel - pick 8 things and plot them out to see how things are balanced.

  • Romance
  • Life purpose
  • Work
  • Development
  • Money
  • Home
  • Health
  • Friends
  • etc. (need a slot for Work, or is work is robots?) Focus on the entire pie, not just slices

Hierarchy of Values = HOV - what is important to me, what do I value most

  • The foundation and base of sobriety, this gives direction. Things come and go from the HOV. Make full sentences: What and when are important
  • Values vs goals
    • Values are something you live by
      • Being responsible, kindness, respect, etc. is a value
    • Goals are a specific target and a plan to get there
      • Goal can be teams and a date and how to achieve that

Balance

  • Are you living a balanced life?
  • Is there too much on my plate?
  • Do I have to many activities?
    • Or is there too few, get out of my chair more.
    • But my stress is too much stuff.

Is there a dream I want to focus on

  • Loop
  • Travel more. RV time?

Energy flows where attention goes - make energy balance

Create a chart of Mooring Lines vs Avoiding List for the next 7 days

( This was the best meeting so far )

22 Nov 7:30-9:00 AM Hatrick and Kibou - 37 people

  1. Build and Maintain Motivation to change
  2. Cope with Urges
  3. Managing Thoughts, Feelings & Behaviors
  4. Living a Balanced Lifestyle

DOC = drug / destruction of choice. SOC = Substances of Choice BOC = Behavior of Choice

We made bad choices in the past, this is about making better choices going forward.

Today topic is Invigoration

  • Building Motivation to Change
  • Stuck in Recovery?
    • Wise Words from "Quiet Wonder"
      • Why did you start, go back to that as a reminder

When you do the Hierarchy of Values, verbise them, make it an active sentence.

Develop Mooring lines and review them once a week.

Live Life -- Attention to

  • Body
  • Emotions
  • Thoughts

“The truth may hurt but fooling yourself will enslave you.” (Charles F. Glassman)

22 Nov 9:30-11:00 AM Annie51 - 42 people

Mostly sharing, no presentation

Rob52 - A re/lapse is not a time warp that causes all my past abstinent time to vanish. In recovery it is often brought up that I can’t change the past in terms of the ‘bad’ things that I have done that might have caused harm to another, but just the same I can’t change the past in terms of the HELPFUL and healthy things that I have done and learned. That doesn’t go away. I get to own that and celebrate it.

If lapse occurs, I don't start from scratch....I start from experience. I have just pulled off the road for a time and still knowing how to drive, I can pull back onto the road and continue the journey.

Acceptance

  • Unconditional Self Acceptance
    • I have worth, just as I am
    • I can not change the past, I can change my future
  • Unconditional Other Acceptance
    • Other people don't act in ways I prefer
    • Other people are as worthy as I am, no more and no less
  • Unconditional Life Acceptance
    • Life is full is up and downs
    • Life isn't fair, the Fair comes in July
    • I don't have to like something in order to accept it.

22 Nov 7:00-8:30 PM Eboni and Enpowered829 - 155 People

This is listed as a maladaptive meeting

Went over the holiday challenges slides

Create a holiday safety plan

  1. Triggers
  2. Plan ahead of what to do about the triggers
  3. Take a time out - walk away from the battle
  4. Support - who / how will someone support you
  5. A way out - how do you escape?

Good group of people, good insight, not a lot of stories.

Not a good day for me, with the new tax lien on VW from the Adams days

23 November 7AM - 8:30AM Jasper2016 Facilitator - 64 people Lots of repeat people. So it's like AA in the same church :-)

HALT - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired -- halt the bad

23 Nov 2022 10:30-Noon Rob R 62? "Safe Space Meeting" - 71 people

Rob62 was the first host that I went to. This is his other meeting on Tuesdays

Check-in process is really short shares and he pulls topics from them. It takes about 45 mins

Topics

  • Learning from Lapses and avoid holiday triggers
  • dealing with overwhelm and avoiding urges
  • emotions
  • dealing with boredom

Unhelpful thinking

Holiday how to manage awkward conversations

hoop girl and what I can control

Overwhelmed poster

Handbook arrived today! Lots of good info, happy to have it.

23 November 6PM - 7:30 PM - Rachel Blue / Fei - 156 people

This is the second time I've been to this meeting! I really like what she does here and the conversations have been really good.

Topics

  • Creating goals for this week
    • Really need to do a Cost / Benefit analysis (pg 19 in the book)
    • Build a plan for Thurs and Saturday
  • Sleep, dreams, dreams about using
    • If there are people you know, call them.
    • Your brain is trying to get you to buy into doing DOC again
  • Coping with urges in the first days
    • Frustration
    • Anger
    • Loneliness
    • Boredom
    • To fight it is to feed it. Play the tape on the bad/good outcomes.
  • Managing intrusive thoughts
  • Controlling anger
  • How do you measure happiness
    • Start the journal and track how happy you feel

The opposite of addicted is connected

ABC

  • Activating event
    • Someone asked me if I wanted my drug of choice
  • Belief about the event
    • Unacceptable for her to ask that. She wants to harm me, I'm being tested, people should never offer me a drink ...
  • Start here - > Consequence: desire to act on anger, like to punch you.
  • Dispute (question the belief)
    • does this person have any intentions about me? Do they know me? Who am I to say where they can be.
  • find a more Effective belief
    • Not worth the energy, its a random event, its outside the hula hoop, you can always walk away or deal with it later.

23 November 7:3-PM - 9 PM - Hville79 (sub) - 142 people

Just a gentle reminder to new people to SMART.
We are here to learn about & discuss SMART Recovery. Please understand that there is a difference between SMART and 12 Step programs and we ask that you respect this difference while attending a SMART RECOVERY ON LINE (SROL) meeting.

SMART is not a 12-step program and thus does NOT require you to:

  1. Believe in a Higher Power (although it’s okay if you do).
  2. Commit to abstinence for life ( our program aims to help you regardless of your plans)
  3. Commit to attending meetings for life (you are welcome at our meetings for as long as they are helpful to you. You are not committed to the program but rather to yourself)
  4. “Label” yourself an “addict” or an “alcoholic” (We prefer the term “a person with a substance use disorder” SUD)
  5. Proclaim yourself powerless over your addiction. (You are not powerless!)
  6. Accept the guidance of a Sponsor, or commit to any requirements other than the goals of recovery that you set for yourself.

https://www.recovery.org/pro/articles/how-simple-journaling-can-help-recovery/ ( I need to start doing this)

“People are not disturbed by things, but by their view of things. It’s not the things that happen to us that make us suffer. It’s what we tell ourselves about those things.” - Epictetus

Need to fight the boredom factors: https://www.monarchshores.com/relapse-prevention/how-to-fight-boredom-in-recovery/

24 November Wes 10-11AM

24 November 12:00 - 1:30 PM Hammer - 56 people

Fault vs. responsibility Taking responsibility is an act of self defense and taking your power back.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ln21-WhJyec (Will Smith)

Meditation is good, start at a minute and go from there.

24 November 2:30-4 PM Starrsmore / Annabelle W? - 31 People

Annabelle W? posted a ton of links, holiday links are below

The Holidays

Went over PIUS Communications

Boundaries are not brick walls. Boundaries are not meant to keep people out. Boundaries are more like fences, friends can talk across the fence.

"I am so grateful for your concern and for your desire to help me. What will help me the most is if you let me be the one to reach out to you if I need assistance."

https://eudaimoniahomes.com/9-ways-practice-gratitude-recovery/

25 November 2021 11:30-1:00 T Bone Don? - 84 people
Meeting topic is Urges

Not a good day because of the news that some people won't be able to come to the dinner. Going to just reschedule brunch with them for that morning.

21 Urge coping skills

Surf the Urge Meditation

  1. Focus on the area where you experience the craving
  2. Acknowledge how you experience the craving
  3. Repeat focusing with each part of your body that experiences the craving
  4. Release the tension as you release each deep breath

Lots of people have slips. Use the ABC tool to figure out what happened. Then start over. Slips are different than a full relapse.

25 November 2021 7:30-9:00 Mattahundt and Jmac1964 - 43 people
Some good checkin by people.

Topic Dealing with Anxiety https://www.smartrecovery.org/skills-to-deal-with-anxiety-distress-and-cravings/

26 November 2021 9:30-11AM Debbie L with Donna Sped Music? - 67 People

If it's an uncomfortable position, leave.
Putting your non-drink into a wine or beer glass to make yourself more comfortable
"Why is it we always run to the source of the pain to relieve the pain? "​ -SMAR Tuser? Aquaman​

SOBER - Son of bitch everything is real

We did a Cost Benefit Analysis

(This is a pretty good meeting)

26 November 2021 11:30-1PM MT Massey? Zircon57 - 145 people

Couldn't stay with people arriving ​

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Page last modified on November 28, 2021, at 03:05 PM