Astro Wiki | SMART / 26 Dec 21

Meetings for the week of 26 December 2021 (last week of 2021)

26 December 2021 - 7-8:30 PM - Hatrick (Bobbe is traveling) - Beginners meeting - 35 people

This is week 3 on the Topic of Motivation (Build and Maintain Motivation)

Life is all about choice and we are the sum total of all the choices that we have made. For those of us, like me, who have wrestled with the issues of addiction, we have made some choices that were sub-optimal

SMART is the Power of Choice, only we can make choices to improve our lives.

Tools that help make better choices - Cost Benefit Analysis - CBA; and "My Three Questions"

My three questions

What do I want for my future?
What am I currently doing to achieve that?
How do I feel about what I'm currently doing

27 December 2021 - 7:30-9PM - Hatrick and Empowered - Discussion Meeting - 40 people

Micro-resolutions for 2022 is the topic of the day

New Years Resolutions - most people break a NY Resolution, break it by 6 weeks.
Brains don't like negative goals, but has better luck with positive goals

Caroline Arnold - Small Move, Big Changes, Using micro resolutions to change your life permanently

Micro resolutions - one month
- Identify Healty Activities tat Support "Letting Go" of Negative Behaviors
  - For example "Anger Management" -> "Practice Kindness"
- Transform "Big Goals" into "Small Steps"
  - Roll small steps into the final goal

Calendar

Example - Observe Wonder - Mark it down in the Calendar. X for days that you missed.
Goals should be smart goals (Small, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time bound)
Tie it to your behavior
Practice, Patience and Persistence
Keep the faith when the calendar gets an X
See the good habits form!!

Jeff Haden on Visualization: Research shows that approximately 25 percent of our optimism set-point is genetic. That means 75 percent of your level of optimism can be shaped and learned.
: In one study, participants who spent five minutes a day for two weeks imagining their "best possible self" (in terms of professional, relationship, and personal goals) experienced significant increases in optimism.
: If visualization isn't your thing -- it definitely isn't mine -- try another approach. If, as Jim Rohn says, we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, simply spend more time with optimistic people. They'll be more encouraging. They'll be more supportive. Their enthusiasm will naturally rub off on you https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/live-longer-be-more-optimistic-build-relationships-optimism-mindset-predict-longevity-importance-of-relationships-visualization.html

28 December 2021 6-7:30PM - Rachel Blue - 178 People

Today walked away from being mad at Ikea, just came home and turns out I can order the part via chat. (Who knew)

Healing family relationships when there is a lot of anger.

DEADHEADS - Delay, Evade, Avoid, Deny, Hide, Escape, Accept, Distract, Substitute

Anger iceberg - Anger is just the top of all the underlying emotions

28 December 2021 - No meeting - Mattahund was off MT Massy ? was host So I didn't say.

Not a good day, woke up angry about VW.

I'm a mustabator over the boat [ boat not done, he's messing with the wood ] and my anger got over me.

There are 24 hours of SMART for NYE

31 Dec 2021 7:30-8:30AM - Hammer ( SMART Jeopardy)

3 Point 1 tool (CBA, HOV, CPW, 3 questions)

Met Joe Gerstein one of the creators of SMART

Motivational Listening is a tool to try.

9:30 -10:30 AM Dr Tom Horvath 45 people

I have come to think of my issues as melting icebergs. I may work on them til they start to disappear, but if I see behavior that signals they are still around, I need to get back to work

:) the winner is whoever has the most fun!

Also, I can just call it "My addiction". In 12-steps they call it "My Disease". Without knowing they are using DISARM

Amy (ammar43) 63 people

Unconditional Zoom Acceptance is going to have to be inserted into our USA ULA and UOA documentation.

i try to remember that acceptance is not a light switch. it's not an instantaneous change where i am either 100% or 0%. i will slowly make gradual improvement toward self acceptance & other acceptance & life acceptance. let me try my best to be kind, patient, and encouraging to myself.

WORDS - Jade (Aurora2021)

Stop Shoulding yourself.

Where am I on the HOV?

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1vQ123NTNv7hciqoMETH3WrA4z1TX561_EluY48VcC2g/edit#slide=id.p1 - Slides about word exchange.

Ideas on how to set boundaries

Communicating your needs doesn't always mean you'll get your way. But, you have done your part and you can only change your behavior (not others). Here's what it stands for:
D - Describe the situation, factually. Stick to the what happened, not what you think the other person's intentions were.
E - Express the emotions you feel when the situation happens.
E - Empathize with the other person. We often forget this step in the heat of the moment, but it's helpful because 1) at times people do things that are harmful (although with good intentions) without knowing it and 2) it disarms the person and doesn't make them feel as defensive.
S - Specify what it is that you need or want. What action are you asking them to take or change? Remember, all you can do is request, you can't make someone change.
C - Consequences. Talk about the good consequences that would come from the understanding, as well as the unfortunate consequences, if not.
Here's an example:
D - When you yell at me to stop worrying...
E - I feel frustrated and angry.
E - I understand that you are trying to help me and that you care about me.
S - I need (or want) you to ask me, instead: "How can I help you?"
C - If you can do that, then I will tell you what I need and we can work together. If not, then we may continue to fight and not get along, and I don't want that.
MT Massey was up next, he's super annoying

(Saved chat at 9 PM)

1 Jan 2022 - 2:00-3:00PM Rob R 62 ? -- 112 people

Just a general meeting