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14 Nov 21

Wednesday 17 Nov 2021

DIBS Disputing Irrational Belief DUBS Disputing Unhelpful Beliefs

1. ) I need this to contuninue
2. ) People need to do what I want them to do
3. ) He/She should listen
4. ) He/She should be here
5. ) I am worthless
6. ) I can get away with it -- no consequences
7. ) I'm unloveable
8. ) I can't handle this any more

again some helpful links Urgent Help

ABC Problem wworksheet

SMART Prepare to Attend Your First Meeting

Forum: Welcome to SMART Online - Start here!

Recovery Toolbox

Smart Book 3rd edition

PTSD is like pushing a beachball underwater, since it pops right back up. Some can be popped with a toothpick, others will need a chainsaw.

ABC of urges

Exchange Vocabulary

Video - "Self-compassion entails being kind and understanding toward oneself in instances of pain or failure rather than being harshly self-critical; perceiving one's experiences as part of the larger human experience rather than seeing them as isolating; and holding painful thoughts and feelings in mindful awareness rather than over-identifying with them." Neff, K. D. (2003). The Development and Validation of a Scale to Measure Self-Compassion. Self and Identity, 2(3), 223-250. doi:10.1080/15298860309027

Hula Hoop

In my control / out of my control

SMART Recovery for Family and Friends

https://the20minutedguide - The Partners

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Handout for the Thursday meeting about Alternative Urge Thursday 18 November

• Triggers cause an Emotion which creates an Urge and we act on those Urges.
• Stopping the Urge isn't the long term solutions. - list of 21 coping skills is available for short term use.
• Triggers and the Urges they Cause
• Manage your emotions
• Don't feed the Tigers, facing your feelings
• 5 ways to deal with urges and cravings
  • Urge Log
• SMART Recovery Tool: ABCs of Coping with Urges
• Hierarchy of Values Worksheet
• https://www.smartrecovery.org/smart-articles-draft/anger-a-disabling-emotion/ Anger is a disabling emotion
• Change Plan Worksheet

(This ended up being more of a "fix my problem" session - most likely will not attend again)

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Thursday 18 November 9 - 10:30PM Group Session (Morgan9)

(Standard Open, introductions of all the meeting helpers) (Look for meetings by Its Lizzie? ( Wednesday @ 10:30 PM to 12:00 AM ET - Facilitated by itslizzie)

• Guidelines that we identify to define what we feel are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around us and to treat us
• Boundaries are not restrictive walls that close us in and shut others out.
• Can help minimize miscommunications and free us to enjoy a healthier relationship with our loved ones.
• Healthy boundaries are not about the other person or their actions, they are about us.
• A re/lapse is not a time warp that causes all my past abstinent time to vanish. In recovery it is often brought up that I can’t change the past in terms of the ‘bad’ things that I have done that might have caused harm to another, but just the same I can’t change the past in terms of the HELPFUL and healthy things that I have done and learned. That doesn’t go away. I get to own that and celebrate it. If lapse occurs, I don't start from scratch....I start from experience. I have just pulled off the road for a time and still knowing how to drive, I can pull back onto the road and continue the journey.

Watched a TED talk from Fayettville == Talk from Josh Hall Illusion of Control

• The illusion of control: Josh Hall at TEDxFayetteville
• Attitude and Behavior we have control over all the time
• We control the door in the circle, we bring things in and out. The circle is only so big. Not big enough for everything.
  • Anger, Hopelessness Anxiety should be outside the circle

Between Stimulus and Response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our Growth and our Freedom - Viktor Frankl

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Friday 19 November 9:30 - 11:00 AM Debbie L?

I’ve heard it said - The goal isn’t to be sober. The goal is to love yourself so much that you don’t need the DOC/BOC.

“Rather than ‘break’ a habit, it is apparently far more likely that I ‘replace’ a habit. It might start with me identifying A HABIT of ACTION or THOUGHT that appears to limit me, and move to replace it with A HABIT that is more likely to empower and encourage me.” –Shug Mc Lister?

Playing the tape https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jwVPE-VcGaiLKzik-O6F8zo5l8xciabZ/view

An OK group, not as many long talkers.

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Friday 19 November 11:30 AM - 1PM MT Massey? 160 Participants

He talks too much. JOMO - Joy of Moving On

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First step of habit change is going off autopilot

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Out all day on Saturday